Mental Health Buzzwords

It’s mostly a good thing that people are becoming more familiar with certain mental health terms and concepts. We largely have social media to thank for this. But when terms become buzzwords, they start to lose their luster. Also, if terms are not explained adequately (and social media does not capture nuance or individuality!), they can be misunderstood and even weaponized. I’ve chosen two of the most common mental health buzzwords to define and to share how you might benefit from integrating them into your life.

Self-care:
Just like the airlines implore: We have to put on our own oxygen masks before we can help others with theirs. We must care for ourselves to show up well in this life. Self-care is anything we do to take care of and look after ourselves. It may be an act or practice that feels good, and it may be something that ensures we’re emotionally, physically, and mentally well. We tend to think of self-care as spa days or golf outings. While these activities certainly count, I also encourage people to consider “smaller” acts and free things that bring you pause, exhale, and relaxation. 
Self-care needs to be a daily practice, an ongoing process that is incorporated into our lives. It’s very individualized and will even differ for us personally depending on our needs at any given time. A self-care activity also isn’t something that feels good in the moment, yet ultimately results in something negative (i.e. drinking too much or buying something you truly can’t afford). It is something that allows us to feel empowered and recharged to prevent burnout and increase mood symptoms. These are truly acts of caring for self.

Self-care can be proactive, and it can be reactive. Both are necessary, but we must prioritize the proactive acts that keep us regulated rather than simply waiting until we’re closer to angst, apathy, overwhelm, or burnout. By proactively engaging in self-care, we are more likely to stay grounded and flexible. But why, then, is it so hard for some of us to practice self-care? Often we think these acts have to be some grand gesture, and we feel we don’t have the time or money. Many of us think it’s selfish to engage in self-care or it feels self-indulgent. Many of us simply just don’t prioritize ourselves, and when we’re on autopilot, we are not attuned to our needs or aware of the benefits that will come from caring for ourselves.

Therapy helps clients unlearn these myths around self-care and learn not to see it as another box to be checked or something we might “fail” at. Therapy helps us shift our priorities and helps us understand how to approach certain activities more intentionally so that they are choices aligned with our values, and they fill our cups. Clients start to see self-care as deliberate, ongoing choices that actually don’t have to take a huge amount of time. By mindfully participating in these acts of caring for self, we not only build our own resilience and prevent burnout, but we also can show up better for others. Being attuned to our own needs is essential and ends up benefiting everyone around us.

Vulnerability:
Maybe the buzziest of buzz words, vulnerability is perhaps what the bulk of therapeutic work centers around. The process of therapy itself is inherently vulnerable and much of the teachings and encouragement in therapy are about learning to be vulnerable. Brené Brown defines vulnerability as: “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure [and] the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change [and] the glue that holds relationships together.” 

Vulnerability typically takes us outside of our comfort zones. It is emotional exposure. Many people have preconceived ideas and judgments about vulnerability: showing emotion is weak, relinquishing control is risky, and opening oneself up to possible rejection or failure is dumb. We work so hard to avoid and prevent vulnerability. And of course, we do! It often seems so much easier to steer clear of discomfort, stay in our familiar spaces, and avoid feeling as though we’re not good enough. But, as I often tell clients, vulnerability is actually the most courageous thing. Bravery cannot exist without fear. Something feels brave to us if there’s an emotional charge. So, by this logic, we understand that when things matter to us, we have to learn how to carry our fear and take action anyway. Being uncomfortable, intimidated, or afraid coexists with courage. Stir them together, and you get…vulnerability. It is a necessary recipe for connection.

When we have buy-in about practicing more vulnerability, acknowledging our courage is a good place to start. It’s okay to give yourself kudos for taking a different action step. We also have to let go of any concern about what others think of us. If we are caught up in how someone might react or in doing something perfectly so that it's received well, we may never take action. As you continue practicing vulnerability, you will notice that others relate to it and are drawn to it. It will beget more vulnerability. It’s real and refreshing to be around someone authentic and present in this way.

​The stigma around mental health is shifting and we can each be a part of the movement to ensure that it does. We all have mental health to tend to and embracing things like self-care and vulnerability allows us to show up more fully in this life. Doing so is an ongoing practice as we continue to build skills and practice integrating those buzzwords we come across. We’re all in this together!

Juliet Kuehnle (Guest Writer) is the founder/owner and a therapist at Sun Counseling and Wellness. Kuehnle’s first book entitled Who You Callin’ Crazy?!: The Journey From Stigma To Therapy was published last year. It addresses stigma, debunks myths and misconceptions about therapy and mental health, and answers many frequently asked questions about therapy. Follow along on @YepIGoToTherapy for updates.

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